Listening with a more critical ear

I wish you would rub me in your ass crack
I want your poo and butt hair stuck to me
You'd better rinse me off, unless you hate your roommate
Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap

I wish that I could squirt you in the eye
I want to make it sting and watch you cry
I also want to stain your dry-clean-only blouse
Oh, I wish I were a little piece of lemon