Listening with a more critical ear

[christopher575]

I wish you would rub me in your ass crack
I want your poo and butt hair stuck to me
You'd better rinse me off, unless you hate your roommate
Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap

I wish that I could squirt you in the eye
I want to make it sting and watch you cry
I also want to stain your dry-clean-only blouse
Oh, I wish I were a little piece of lemon

Comments

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

???

[christopher575.livejournal.com]

cattycritic and I were talking last weekend about how sometimes if you really think about the point a song is trying to make, suddenly it's a lot less innocent.

Maybe you had to be there. Or drunk.

[poppychirpy.livejournal.com]

What the hell is that?

[christopher575.livejournal.com]

A more honest (or more drunk) version of "I wish I were a little bar of soap."

I should add...

[cattycritic.livejournal.com]

...the following points to explain this train of thought (because we all know how much funnier jokes are when you explain them):

a) we were making up raunchy lyrics to songs the whole weekend
b) I brought a tiny little bar of Lever 2000 soap, which Christopher had to use because the hostel didn't provide any. He remarked that he'd never ever seen a bar of soap that small, in fact so small that you really could put it up your butt.
c) the rest of that, I don't know where the hell that came from.

Re: I should add...

[cattycritic.livejournal.com]

Oh and also, I had told him the story of how I completely ruined "Don't Fear the Reaper" for one of my boyfriends. He was talking about how romantic it was, and I said "What? It's about a guy who convinces his girlfriend to commit suicide with him! That's creepy, not romantic!" He tried to argue with me and when I quoted the lyrics back at him, he got really mad because now he could never hear it the same way again. I suppose he's in the same boat with the people who think "Every Breath You Take" is a romantic song. Sting has even complained about that.

[theropod.livejournal.com]

Jeez! Put that behind a NSFW cut!

[christopher575.livejournal.com]

Get back to work, slacker!