Shopping and Life

[christopher575]

Yesterday as I was browsing in the grocery store, I came upon a product that always makes me stop and think. Back in early 2004, I found myself in a pretty miserable situation. I'd lost my job and my beloved apartment, and found a new, crappy job and an ok place, but had no money because I was trying to pay off the debts that would eventually lead to my bankruptcy. I was working a swing shift, so I rarely saw people outside of work. To top it all off, I couldn't really cook, but needed to be making my own meals since I was completely broke.

For many months I made meals out of Lipton side dishes with frozen vegetables to take in a container to eat dinner at work. I haven't had one since then, but I imagine the taste would bring me back to feeling like a miserable failure. When I see the packets in the store I always pause for a moment.

But I'm not really feeling regret when that happens. I look back now and I'm thankful for where I am. There are lots of little reminders in my life of worse times. Everywhere. There was a time I couldn't go anywhere without seeing places where bad things happened or worry about people I didn't feel like ever seeing again. That's a time in a lot of people's lives when they feel like they should just up and leave, and for a while, I did too. But it doesn't really matter where you go, because you'll always be you and you just have to learn to be grateful for what you've got.

Yesterday I looked at the Lipton side dish packets and thought about my life, and then I thought about my life right now. I walked right past them and picked up other things to make. Things that require a little more work, but taste a lot better. Things I'm proud to make for my husband for dinner and pack up as leftovers for his lunch. 

I got home and was greeted by the cats and a beautiful sunset view, and I waited for Garrett to get home. It's these times when I have a few quiet moments that I realize how lucky I am to not only be alive, but to be truly living.

And I'm glad there's always something around to remind me. Perspective is a good thing.

Comments

[skiplogic.livejournal.com]

This post is lovely, thank you.

[my-ophelia.livejournal.com]

I get these very same feelings about my transition. Usually though, it's the opposite. I look at all the random expensive shit I could have had if I had stayed with Richard. I see frivolous expensive things in William Sonoma and think "I could have that even if I only wanted it a little bit". If I had lived the lie a little longer. I don't regret anything, but instead think about how fulfilling my life is now that I didn't fall into the trap of his money, etc. Now that Logan and I save every penny just to buy the midrange item, I feel better about myself.

I teared up a little, also, when you referred to Garrett as your Husband just now. :)!

always something there to remind me

[hildeaux.livejournal.com]

WHY IS IT NOT WORKING http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMAe31FFHbo

[paranoiattaque.livejournal.com]

aw, this post made me smile.

[wring.livejournal.com]

omg this is why I can't eat top ramen anymore! it does taste of misery.

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

Misery boiled in tears.

[panikmanik.livejournal.com]

this post makes me happy

[gldngrrl.livejournal.com]

I like this post.
This is awesome.
Back when I was a SATM and I cooked meals everynight, all I ever cooked was meat, some veggie and a "side dish" which was often those lipton ones (they are the pasta and rice ones right?).

It was so easy.

Now I work, am raising two teenagers and a step son and I prefer to cook things like a steaming pot of tortilla soup from scratch. And tonight, wonders of the crockpot :D

It's nice that life can go on and even get better !

[ozgryph.livejournal.com]

This is happy thoughts. Thank you for sharing that. :-)