By the way
Oct. 26th, 2006 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
christopher575I had approximately* the following conversations recently:
Her: Did you hear about that guy with the dog?
Me: Of course, it's all over the place.
Her: Now why would anyone do that?
Me: Have they shown his picture in the paper? Maybe he's really ugly. That would explain it.
Her: (laughs so loud that it echoes throughout the room) And you know it was a pitbull right?
Me: I didn't! He's gotta be careful, those things bite down and do not let go.
Her: You know, there's people writin' in from all around the world wantin' to adopt that dog.
Me: Of course, now that they know it puts out.
Her: You did not just say that. Anyway, I'm wondering, what if that poor dog got pregnant?
Me: Um, a person can't get a dog pregnant.
Her: How do you know?
Me: That's just something you should know, like from science class.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah, don't worry. Like, lions and tigers can breed, and horses and donkeys, but you don't have to worry about a human breeding with anything. Trust me, there'd be a LOT of half-human, half-sheep things around.
Her: (walks away)
the next day
Her: So you know the guy with the dog? He got home, and his wife is gone. Done packed up all her stuff and just left.
Me: Well, makes sense. But did you ever stop to think that this might be her fault anyway?
Her: Aw, no you aren't...
Me: No, really. If she doesn't put out, she drove him to it! And I think it's great that he didn't cheat on her with another woman.
Her: Oh, you...
Me: Think about it. Next time your husband's like, hey honey...
*edited for brevity
Her: Did you hear about that guy with the dog?
Me: Of course, it's all over the place.
Her: Now why would anyone do that?
Me: Have they shown his picture in the paper? Maybe he's really ugly. That would explain it.
Her: (laughs so loud that it echoes throughout the room) And you know it was a pitbull right?
Me: I didn't! He's gotta be careful, those things bite down and do not let go.
Her: You know, there's people writin' in from all around the world wantin' to adopt that dog.
Me: Of course, now that they know it puts out.
Her: You did not just say that. Anyway, I'm wondering, what if that poor dog got pregnant?
Me: Um, a person can't get a dog pregnant.
Her: How do you know?
Me: That's just something you should know, like from science class.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah, don't worry. Like, lions and tigers can breed, and horses and donkeys, but you don't have to worry about a human breeding with anything. Trust me, there'd be a LOT of half-human, half-sheep things around.
Her: (walks away)
the next day
Her: So you know the guy with the dog? He got home, and his wife is gone. Done packed up all her stuff and just left.
Me: Well, makes sense. But did you ever stop to think that this might be her fault anyway?
Her: Aw, no you aren't...
Me: No, really. If she doesn't put out, she drove him to it! And I think it's great that he didn't cheat on her with another woman.
Her: Oh, you...
Me: Think about it. Next time your husband's like, hey honey...
*edited for brevity
