Writer's Block: Leave a Message After the Beep

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For a decade or so now, it has been "Thank you for calling, please leave a message."

Yo dawg, I herd you hate these videos

My tweets

• Sun, 21:14: RT @girlvinyl: If you call yourself a "reddit power user" you should go ahead and shoot yourself in the head now.
• Mon, 09:59: Yes I am trying to win a RuPaul's Drag Race prize pack this season. Even though I won a Drag U prize pack already. #dragshowprizepackcrack
• Mon, 13:49: My feet are always cold lately except in bed and the shower. Solution: only leave bed to take a shower.

I bought this today

I bought this today, a photo by christopher575 on Flickr.

Not for its intended purpose, though. Also not for a perverted reason.
Guess why and win a prize.