BREAKING NEWS
Oct. 27th, 2007 08:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
christopher575Some elephants got pissed off and started attacking people and each other. Unfortunately, they keep blurring out the good parts. Even more unfortunately, it's on a station where they don't speak English, so I'm not really sure what's going on. But it says TOP STORY on the screen so it's important.
Wait.
Now they're showing elephants in other situations. I think this is just a show about elephants with a banner showing the TOP STORY at the bottom of the screen at all times.
Yeah, now they're showing some singing dudes and it still says TOP STORY at the bottom.
Still, be nice to elephants or they'll fuck you up.
I guess now's a good a time as any to list the animals I've seen in the street.
Cows - So many cows. And you see them in the weirdest places. Today there were about a dozen in front of the mall. Yesterday on the way to work, I saw one happily chomping away at produce on a table where a dude was selling stuff. My guess is that he actually did not want the cow to eat his stuff that he was trying to sell to people who work near my office, but if it happens, they probably don't do anything about it. Part of me wants to see how close I can get to a cow. The other part remembers the icky pictures that came out of Pamplona this year.
Dogs - I figured any dogs I saw here would be gross, but they're actually all really nice looking. And they're smarter than dogs in the US; they don't just run out into traffic.
Camels - We saw a lot of camels on the way to the Taj Mahal. They wore lots of necklaces and looked pretty nice.
Goats - I saw a group of four goats running down the road, each loaded up with saddlebags that looked like they were really full. I didn't see a human who seemed to know anything about them. I wonder if they were running toward or away from the person who loaded those saddlebags.
Boar - Singular, because I saw only one. On the way to the office the other day I saw a huge boar chomping away at some plants near another office.
Pigeons - Yup, they're here too, and I hate them just as much as I do when I'm home. Strangely enough, they fly in and out of the small door at the Taj Mahal, one at a time. It's almost like their job is to carry a spirit back and forth, and this spirit's job is to patrol the grounds and report to the king and queen. Or maybe the pigeon does the reporting.
I just saw the coolest commercial for a car. It was a bunch of horny girls on the way to the beach, and they were looking for a man to rub suntan lotion on them and, presumably, do the wheelbarrow with each of them while the others made out. (the commercial just came on again, and they said they were looking for a "sizzling hottie who'd like to get naughty") There was a guy standing on the side of the road and they asked him where they could find a man who would join them for a tan. He said they should try the beach cafe, and they all sang that he was dumb-dumb for not realizing that it was his chance to have a five-way with four hot chicks. Then they said that their car was also really awesome, and if you don't realize how awesome it is, you're dumb-dumb. I wouldn't mind writing commercials that would air in India, but it would have to be a telecommuting gig. The phone number in the ad ended in 575.
I just saw another commercial where a guy got into his girlfriend's car and she wrinkled her nose because he smelled bad. She turned on an "Odor Eater" which made him lose consciousness, and he slumped out of the passenger door. I guess that gave her the chance to drive away and find a new, non-smelly boyfriend.
More elephant attack footage. Ooooh, one just rammed a minivan. I guess it's sick that I could watch it for hours. We're exposed to images and stories of cruelty to animals almost constantly; I kinda like seeing when they fight back a bit.
Diet Coke here tastes way different than in the US. There's no NutraSweet logo on it, and I wonder what their no-cal sweetener is. The cans have almost no English (even the name is in Hindi) so I have no clue. I've tried to ask, but people don't quite get what I'm asking.
A coworker from the Seattle office was supposed to email me info on the gay scene in case I wanted to go out this weekend. He never did, I checked out who was on gay.com and was surprised to see that the site is less active for the entire country of India than it is for Albuquerque, NM. You'd think a country where guys are going to be pretty closeted would embrace the Internet more, but I guess they probably go for something even more anonymous.
I've changed channels and found Dumb and Dumber in Hindi. This connects nicely back to my Letters to Cleo post. I'd post the Deadeye Dick song from the DnD soundtrack, in honor of the time I saw them at Edgefest, but I can't get YouTube to load tonight.
I just saw a commercial for a bunch of American movies that this channel shows. One of the scenes was Tom Cruise dressed as Austin Powers. Where the hell did that come from?
I'm sitting on what I considered to be Jason's couch while he was here, because it is across from the TV. This is the first time I've sat here since he left. I really do settle into a routine quite well. I also totally miss having him around, he's a cool guy.
Oooh, I just found The Net on HBO. I wish someone was here to pop my abscess. It's even right toward the end, so I'm hearing the same swelling background music from the youtube videos.
Ok, I need another drink.
Wait.
Now they're showing elephants in other situations. I think this is just a show about elephants with a banner showing the TOP STORY at the bottom of the screen at all times.
Yeah, now they're showing some singing dudes and it still says TOP STORY at the bottom.
Still, be nice to elephants or they'll fuck you up.
I guess now's a good a time as any to list the animals I've seen in the street.
Cows - So many cows. And you see them in the weirdest places. Today there were about a dozen in front of the mall. Yesterday on the way to work, I saw one happily chomping away at produce on a table where a dude was selling stuff. My guess is that he actually did not want the cow to eat his stuff that he was trying to sell to people who work near my office, but if it happens, they probably don't do anything about it. Part of me wants to see how close I can get to a cow. The other part remembers the icky pictures that came out of Pamplona this year.
Dogs - I figured any dogs I saw here would be gross, but they're actually all really nice looking. And they're smarter than dogs in the US; they don't just run out into traffic.
Camels - We saw a lot of camels on the way to the Taj Mahal. They wore lots of necklaces and looked pretty nice.
Goats - I saw a group of four goats running down the road, each loaded up with saddlebags that looked like they were really full. I didn't see a human who seemed to know anything about them. I wonder if they were running toward or away from the person who loaded those saddlebags.
Boar - Singular, because I saw only one. On the way to the office the other day I saw a huge boar chomping away at some plants near another office.
Pigeons - Yup, they're here too, and I hate them just as much as I do when I'm home. Strangely enough, they fly in and out of the small door at the Taj Mahal, one at a time. It's almost like their job is to carry a spirit back and forth, and this spirit's job is to patrol the grounds and report to the king and queen. Or maybe the pigeon does the reporting.
I just saw the coolest commercial for a car. It was a bunch of horny girls on the way to the beach, and they were looking for a man to rub suntan lotion on them and, presumably, do the wheelbarrow with each of them while the others made out. (the commercial just came on again, and they said they were looking for a "sizzling hottie who'd like to get naughty") There was a guy standing on the side of the road and they asked him where they could find a man who would join them for a tan. He said they should try the beach cafe, and they all sang that he was dumb-dumb for not realizing that it was his chance to have a five-way with four hot chicks. Then they said that their car was also really awesome, and if you don't realize how awesome it is, you're dumb-dumb. I wouldn't mind writing commercials that would air in India, but it would have to be a telecommuting gig. The phone number in the ad ended in 575.
I just saw another commercial where a guy got into his girlfriend's car and she wrinkled her nose because he smelled bad. She turned on an "Odor Eater" which made him lose consciousness, and he slumped out of the passenger door. I guess that gave her the chance to drive away and find a new, non-smelly boyfriend.
More elephant attack footage. Ooooh, one just rammed a minivan. I guess it's sick that I could watch it for hours. We're exposed to images and stories of cruelty to animals almost constantly; I kinda like seeing when they fight back a bit.
Diet Coke here tastes way different than in the US. There's no NutraSweet logo on it, and I wonder what their no-cal sweetener is. The cans have almost no English (even the name is in Hindi) so I have no clue. I've tried to ask, but people don't quite get what I'm asking.
A coworker from the Seattle office was supposed to email me info on the gay scene in case I wanted to go out this weekend. He never did, I checked out who was on gay.com and was surprised to see that the site is less active for the entire country of India than it is for Albuquerque, NM. You'd think a country where guys are going to be pretty closeted would embrace the Internet more, but I guess they probably go for something even more anonymous.
I've changed channels and found Dumb and Dumber in Hindi. This connects nicely back to my Letters to Cleo post. I'd post the Deadeye Dick song from the DnD soundtrack, in honor of the time I saw them at Edgefest, but I can't get YouTube to load tonight.
I just saw a commercial for a bunch of American movies that this channel shows. One of the scenes was Tom Cruise dressed as Austin Powers. Where the hell did that come from?
I'm sitting on what I considered to be Jason's couch while he was here, because it is across from the TV. This is the first time I've sat here since he left. I really do settle into a routine quite well. I also totally miss having him around, he's a cool guy.
Oooh, I just found The Net on HBO. I wish someone was here to pop my abscess. It's even right toward the end, so I'm hearing the same swelling background music from the youtube videos.
Ok, I need another drink.
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 05:29 pm (UTC)Diet Coke
Date: 2007-10-27 08:28 pm (UTC)Alas, the sweetener is banned here.