(no subject)

[christopher575]

I know that the way I see myself is very different from how others see me. I also know that my point of view is wrong.

It's a weird feeling, knowing that people are nicer to me than I am to myself.

I'll work on that.

Comments

[notlostonme.livejournal.com]

I am sending you a video that might make you smile.

[gomezticator.livejournal.com]

Once I sorted that out, life started going MUCH better.

[scearley.livejournal.com]

i'm not convinced that the way people see me is wrong.

[popcultureicon.livejournal.com]

It's likely that what you think about how people see you is very wrong.

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

I always wonder if people see me entirely differently than I see myself. I think so.

*shrug*

[cattycritic.livejournal.com]

I was just listening to NPR a week or so ago and they did a show with this psychologist who just wrote a book kind of about that. There were some studies that found a couple of related things. Men tend to inflate their abilities and women tend to play them down. Women also have a higher rate of depression. They also found that people who are depressed, apparently have a more realistic view of themselves and the world (and this actually also maps to female and male "realism"). Yes, they used the word "realistic."

This psychologist guy said, "people who aren't depressed say 'yeah, all my friends like me very much,' and people who aren't say, 'no, everyone doesn't like me all that much; they're just pretending to.'" He said, "it turns out when we asked the friends of the depressed person, they said, 'yeah, we really don't like him all that much.' It turns out this ability to deceive ourselves is a survival trait."

I'm not really sure what to make of this. If I'm depressed, the social science and psychology research says I'm going to underperform and not be as much fun to be around in the first place. If I exaggerate my abilities I'm far likelier to reach my potential even if I'm not as good as I think I am, as well as maintain friendships since people like being around cheerful people more. I think the researchers must all be depressed.

Years ago I read about some of this research and thought, "would I rather be happy, or right?" I decided I'd rather be happy, and resolved to brainwash myself that I'm worthwhile and deserve good things, and that in general I was someone that people liked. And I resolved that anyone who disagreed, their opinion doesn't matter anyway (that's hard to pull off actually) . I figured if I kept telling myself that and acting as if it were true, eventually I'd believe it. It has been reasonably successful. Oh wait, I mean, it has been an OUTSTANDING SUCCESS.