Hypocrite

[christopher575]

Last fall, a friend had a dinner party. It was fun, but I didn't know anyone there, so I actually spent quite a bit of time in the kitchen keeping him company, though I did mingle a bit. We had been out of touch for the next couple of weeks when I got a drunken late-night text from him along the lines of, "I invite you to a five-course dinner party and you can't even say thank you?!?"

Whoa, sparky! I figured he knew I appreciated it and had a great time since I complemented him constantly during the party and thanked him several times on my way out. It would be one thing entirely if we were the type of friends who talked every day, but it was very normal for us to go several weeks with no contact.

Anyway, I replied and explained that I understood he was going through a lot of hard stuff (he still is) and that I thought his anger was misdirected, and also that he didn't know me very well if he was expecting a physical thank-you card in the mail. I honestly haven't sent one since my high school graduation. That doesn't make me an ungrateful person, it just means I'm not a card person. I further explained that I understood he was drunk (it was very obvious by the texts and the blog posts he was also making) and that I wasn't mad and would happily forget the whole thing. He wouldn't have it. He told me to delete all contact info I had for him. 

And I think he made the right decision. If you look back at a party we had fun together at and you'll end our friendship because I didn't send you a card, we are simply too different.

We live a few blocks apart, and our paths to work intersect, so it's weird that I haven't seen him. Tuesday, it took a while to get across Olive, and I saw him crossing the street, presumably to go to Starbucks. Had I not been kept waiting to cross, we would have run into each other. As it was, he didn't see me. But last night I stopped by the tattoo shop to drop off some artwork and there he was in the waiting room. I said hi and asked how he was, and he wouldn't even speak to me. 

As far as I'm concerned, that makes him a complete hypocrite. If you're going to complain that someone is impolite for not sending you a thank-you card, you have no business flat-out ignoring somene who says hi to you. A quick, polite, 'fine, thank you" is expected in this case. To turn your nose up and your head away in silence is petty.

Comments

[frogger414.livejournal.com]

If he's going to get all butthurt over you not sending a card thanking him for the invite, then he's not a friend worth having. So very petty. We have dinner parties often and the biggest thank you is first when people show up and if they enjoy dinner. And if they bring something over (which is usually the first question people ask when they are presented with an invite) that's also another way of them saying thank you. Ugh. I'm sorry.

[christopher575.livejournal.com]

I understand that when people go through sickness or family problems, most of them reach out to their friends, but a few will push them away instead. I hope he's doing well and has the support he needs.

[frogger414.livejournal.com]

You have such a good attitude. ilu